You are here to acknowledge and embrace every crevice of what it means to be you and to develop ways in which you can protect, celebrate, and project the wisdom of your experiences, both light and dark, into the world. This requires getting passionately curious about ourselves.
Most of us were not encouraged to do this. Most of us have been discouraged because blending in was the key to survival (*raises her hand*). Amidst getting curious, a natural connection will arise between who you are, why you’re here, and how, or through which avenues, you can share your message and gifts with the world at this stage. Your sense of purpose is not outside of you. The o-n-l-y place you will find it is within you. From within it will pour out.
How do we find it? Purpose is the soul’s work. Your work is letting it get to work. Release the grasp. The biggest feat is preventing your logical brain (and ego) from trying to micromanage a very intuitive, feelings-based journey. Please use your brain to translate the words on this page and then go ahead and shut it off until you need it for practical applications.
Back to the soul - what feeds the soul? Surrounding ourselves with things and experiences that are rooted in beauty, inspire joy, and fuel desire. These are your purest states, so it makes sense that the answers lie within them. Joy and desire were teachings gifted to me by Everest Asher (she is truly a gift), and it’s become the single most important practice in my life, aside from seeking beauty in everything I encounter.
When she first suggested I explore the role of desire in my life, I shuttered. It made me really uncomfortable. I have all the things I need, and I live a creatively-driven life. Desiring more than what I already had seemed greedy or ungrateful (false). But I felt exhausted and, frankly, unfulfilled living a life that was so X-Y-Z, but I didn’t know WHY. I know I’m not alone in that feeling.
I started to ask why. I’m not hurting anyone by wanting more, i.e. being more of myself and wanting more for myself, so why? I found no satisfactory answers. Before I could dive into desire, I had to understand what was blocking it. It was all centered around self-worth. I was harboring so many baseless assumptions and truths that, in my first few decades on Earth, I had just accepted but never examined. I couldn’t un-know that realization, so I started examining further. Whenever an anxiety or disempowering feeling arose, I asked: Is it true and is it mine? I realized that so many of my thoughts weren’t really mine. Or they were a third mine, a third someone else’s and a third society’s, dimmed to help me blend in comfortably.
Being here writing all of this to you feels inherently uncomfortable because I’m stepping outside of a box that I assumed you thought I was in. But I’ve always known that wasn’t my box. My friends, you’ve always known that wasn’t your box. The coping mechanisms of our pasts were natural and were part of the journey. We love them, we appreciate them, but we’re ready for the next level.
It was in the act of surrendering to my very specific energies of joy and desire that brought me so much ease, so much flow, a hell of a lot of clarity, and a big dose of self-respect. I started to feel like myself again.
Image by Dana Jensen